I see many women who all have the same basic mantra: "I am NOT a person who fails!" They are right. Several patients have attended elite schools, excelled in their careers, win awards doing competitive hobbies (like running marathons), and are elected to prestigious community boards. However, when these same high powered, high achieving women do not get pregnant quickly it is common to hear they feel like failures. This is absolutely not the case. While you may have control over how well you did on you SATs (studied like crazy), what honors you graduated with from the amazing school you attended (again, studied like crazy), and how fast you made partner or director (this time worked like crazy), you cannot apply your work ethic to baby making and expect the same fast-tracked and positive results. It simply isn't biologically possible. Your body has its own pace, and your ability to have a baby isn't a success or failure, but rather a process. Accept that while you can control many aspects of your amazing, awe-inspiring life...you can't change your biology. At least entirely.
Stress, coffee, your favorite cocktail, and smoking are all working against your biological process of conceiving a child, so eliminate them...and you will have an edge on your prospects for fertility. Otherwise, try to rest in the awareness that you are not failing—you are traveling on a journey.